Lets talk about mum guilt and why it's important to be getle on yourself!

By Katie LouiseNovember 6, 2021

Mum guilt is a term coined to describe the feeling of being inadequate or undeserving as a mum. It's a feeling that many women have, and it can be debilitating, but there are ways to alleviate mum guilt. For starters, try not to compare yourself with other mothers who may seem more capable than you, they might be better at hiding their feelings!

And remember that even if you're doing your best for your children, sometimes things will go wrong, and mum guilt won't help them get better. So don't beat yourself up about bad days instead, try talking to friends or family members who can support you through tough times. Finally, make time for yourself so that your mum self doesn’t become too exhausted from taking care of the family.

What is mum guilt, and how does it affect mothers

Mum guilt is a feeling of regret, sadness, or disappointment in a mum for not doing enough to take care of her children. Mum guilt is usually described as a mum who feels that she could have done more for her family and that she doesn't spend enough time with them. There are several steps you can take to alleviate mum guilt, even if it's only for a little while.

You might find yourself less guilty by focusing on what you're doing for your kids, like cooking dinner. One way to make mum time even more fun is by playing games with your children such as Uno or Pictionary. It's important, however, to make time for yourself and pursue your own interests because then you'll be able to take care of your children better.

Parenting can be difficult, but you should know that mum guilt is a normal part of the process. You shouldn't feel guilty about being a mum. Mum guilt is something that all mothers have to deal with, and it comes with the territory.

How to alleviate mum guilt

One way to alleviate mum guilt is by thinking about what you're doing for your children and how it impacts them. It's important to make time for yourself because this will allow you to be a better parent. By focusing on the good things you do for your family, mum guilt can be relieved.

Mum guilt is a feeling of responsibility for everything that goes wrong in your children's lives, whether you are at fault or not. It usually happens when mothers are hard on themselves for little things they feel they should have done better. It's normal to feel mum guilt from time to time, but it could indicate depression.

Mothers who are feeling mum guilt should try to focus on the positive things about their parenting, including taking care of themselves, taking time for hobbies and even finding ways to be kinder to themselves. When parents make time for themselves, it will enable them to reduce mum guilt by making better choices for their children.

Tips alleviate mum guilt:

  • Don't focus on what you haven't done, but think about the good things you do
  • Self-care is important! It's not selfish to take time for yourself
  • Try to be kinder towards yourself. We all make mistakes, and that's normal. Nobody is perfect
  • Find a way or reason to treat yourself every day. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
  • Don't dwell on mum guilt. If you can find a way to use mum guilt as motivation or a learning experience, it could help you become a better parent in the future.

Mum guilt is not something that you can rid yourself of overnight; it's a continuous journey where mum guilt will be present to an extent. However, by using the tips provided, mum guilt can become easier to manage, and mothers can focus on what matters most: their children.

take time out

Tips for mums to take time for themselves

A mum can reduce mum guilt by focusing on the good things they do for their child. Mums need to take time for themselves to better take care of their children, and new mum's need some time to adjust. So please don't ever feel bad asking your partner or other family members to watch your children so you can take some time for yourself because it will give you a chance to recharge and care for your children better.

If mum guilt is taking over, make sure to take a break and have a cup of tea. When mum's feel mum guilt, they can be hard on themselves so try to remember the good things you are doing for your child.

Tips for parents to take time for themselves:

  • Ask your partner or family members to babysit so you can take some time for yourself
  • Make sure mums are taking care of their mental health by calling their doctor. It's important mums take the time they need to be healthy, happy and well-rested before spending all day taking care of their child.
  • Make sure mums are being realistic with themselves about what they can fit into their day, rather than trying to accomplish too much and feeling overwhelmed.
  • It's important for mums to take some time each day just for themselves so they can recharge their batteries. Some examples of things mums can do are relax with a book, go for a walk, call mum friends and talk about how hard mum life is or spend time with their child without thinking they need to be doing something. 
  • Say no when you can't take on any more responsibilities. Many mum's feel bad turning people down, but it is important to say no when you can't take on any more guilt, or you will end up stressing yourself out too much.
  • Mums should be kind to themselves by remembering they are doing the best they can for their child and that mum guilt is usual, so mums shouldn't beat themselves up about it.
  • Remember, mum guilt is normal. Most mum's experience it, and mums shouldn't feel bad or guilty for experiencing mum guilt. However, it is important mum's know they might feel like this at times and try to remember the good things they are doing for their child.

Please read my blog post 10 Minute Self-care | Why self-care is important for busy mums  for helpful tips and ideas on taking a little mum time to recharge

The importance of taking care of oneself  

It is important to care for yourself. However, if you are still new to motherhood or have recently had a baby, mum guilt may appear when feeling overwhelmed. Learn how to ease your mind by focusing on the good things that you are doing for your children.  

You might feel mum guilt when you think about the mothers who don't have time for their own needs because they care for their children. However, you can use mum guilt as motivation to make sure you make time for yourself, even if it means asking others to help watch your kids while you get a manicure or pedicure.

Mum guilt is a type of self-induced emotional punishment that mothers may feel in response to their thoughts and feelings concerning raising their children.

Parents need to make time for themselves because it will help them take care of their children. It's also vital for mum's mental health. Parents who don't take time for themselves may find their moods and emotions changing, affecting how they interact with their children or handle certain situations. This can lead to a vicious cycle that is difficult to break and counteracts any good mum guilt that might influence parents to make time for themselves.

Mum guilt is not only about spending time with yourself. If you are experiencing mum guilt, your focus may be on the sacrifices you make for your children rather than their happiness and well-being. Although it can be hard to separate the two, mum guilt could influence you to feel stressed, unhappy or depressed without considering how much you genuinely love being a mum.

Looking for more ways to survive parenthood  

Why not join the mums net community and chat with other like-minded mums

Until next time take care!

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