By Ashley Verma, Bizzimumzi
Here’s something that took me a while to recognise: after giving birth, a mother is in a new stage of their life, with a new body. It would be lovely if every new mum felt an undeniable sense of power and complete awe at their body’s capabilities. But that isn’t always the case. And that is ok! Post baby mojo comes to us in different ways and at different times.
Here are my five top tips that helped me along my mom journey, and I hope they can help you shake off any post-baby body blues and build back your body-confidence.
Give yourself permission to eat what makes you happy and fulfilled. Restrictions can quickly flip the narrative and can create negative thoughts and unhealthy relationships with food. Don’t skip meals. You need the fuel for both your body and, more importantly, your mind. As moms, we work desperately hard to make the perfect daily routine for our child.
This way they thrive each week hitting new milestones and adorable development. But what about your routine? What about your eating routine? Sticking to regular mealtimes and portions can help keep you on a great path. Healthy protein, high-fibre foods, and nutritionally dense fruits and vegetables will not only keep you energised throughout the day but will also provide the key nutrients needed postpartum.
Body Positivity sounds so easy to attain but it isn’t always the case. I for one had a very difficult time postpartum. To be frank, I still do. I accept that I am a work in progress. I come from a Broadway performance background so at a very, very young age, the strive for body image perfection was ingrained in our “dancer brains”. I’m a smart gal and I knew approaching postpartum with that dancer brain was not going to be beneficial to me or my daughter.
I wasn’t trying to get the next big Broadway show, now I was striving to constantly bring health and happiness to my daughter and I needed that self-worth happiness for ME too. I knew I needed some sort of common ground.
From my years as a fitness trainer, I knew I needed to teach myself ‘self-love’ as I had always preached this to my clients. It was time for me to have a huge spoonful of my own medicine.
Start with finding body neutrality. How on earth can you go from hating your body to loving it overnight? It is certainly not a light switch. Find a middle ground first. Try finding acceptance that your body is different, neither good nor bad, simply different. How to find acceptance?
Little steps each day: an extra walk; a 10-minute stretch in the middle of the day; head to YouTube for free quick workouts. For example, I share free workouts on my Bizzimumzi YouTube channel. A lot of moms do not have the luxury of being able to spend two hours a day with a trainer.
Grab quick and efficient workouts (10-20 minutes) that you can do with the little one(s) around. I’m all for exercising with the kids around because if they are napping, so should you. Rest is just as important as the workout.
My daughter is 2.5 years old and I am still a work in progress. My progress and your progress should never be measured by a social media square.
What are you doing? Where are you? How has your day been? Were you offered help and you said no?
These are key factors to acknowledge to help you recognise where the extra noise is coming from.
Are you dwelling on mirrors around the house? Hide the mirrors! That may sound extreme but more often than not when a mirror is placed in front of us, all the extra negative noise can easily creep in. Write these thoughts down, share with your partner, your therapist, or a friend.
These are triggers that need to be acknowledged and then worked through so that body positivity and self-worth can shine through. It can be hard at first to speak up, but your mental health needs to be top priority, not only for you but to sustain a healthy environment for your child. Working to eliminate the negative headspace will only enhance all the aspects in your (and your child’s) daily life.
I did not get my pre-baby clothes out until a good six months after the birth. Try to stop pulling them out and comparing yourself. There is no award for a quick bounce back. Trust me when I say your next door neighbour does not care about the number inside your jeans. Why is there so much shame in our culture if you are not bounce-back ready in four weeks postpartum?
Wear clothes that flatter you and feel good on your body. We need to be in the mindset now of healing and honouring our bodies. The only person that knows the size of your clothing is you. Yes, shocking but so true!
I have trained countless postpartum moms. There is a frantic energy I always feel when a new mom starts back training. You don’t need to feel this way. It’s added stress. Stress can be a huge factor for actually gaining weight postpartum.
The stress hormone cortisol has a lot to answer for when it comes to weight gain. Cortisol stimulates fat and carbohydrate metabolism for fast energy. It also stimulates insulin release and maintenance of blood sugar levels. If you are stressed, high levels of cortisol can cause an increase in appetite and cravings for sweet, high-fat and salty foods. I know, it’s easier said than done, but find and relish the moments of calm. Maybe there is a moment in your day where you can sit, close your eyes, and find that deep belly breath. Five minutes, 10 minutes – it all adds up and is very beneficial for your mind and overall body.
The number on your scales is another one no one really needs or wants to know. In full transparency, I have no clue how much weight I put on when I was expecting, and I do not own a set of scales in my house. The thought alone gives me anxiety, so why would I allow it? Even when I was pregnant, I turned around on the scale when they weighed me.
I also, politely, asked the nurse to never tell me my weight. I said that if I was gaining too much and it was affecting my health then tell me but otherwise do not let me know. The number on the scale does not define you. Self-love and self-worth acceptance surely does and has greater meaning.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ashley Verma is a mom, founder of the Bizzimumzi podcast, and Define London fitness studio. She is a former Broadway performer and celebrity trainer. Through Bizzimumzi Ashley has created a welcoming community to share the highs and lows of parenting, and inspire others to feel empowered in their journey. Ashely believes the most perfect picture of parenting is simply when you are trying your best. Bizzimumzi is a safe space that helps parents to inspire, educate and support each other to be the best parent they can be.
More body confidence blog posts can be found here
You can follow my own self-love journey here